THE 6-WEEK RULE
Deciding to begin therapy is a big deal. Typically, it means that there’s a lot of stress in your life. Stress is taking its toll on you, physically and mentally. You might feel like you are going to burst.
Oftentimes your loved one asks if you are all right, and you blow her off. You might give her a few tidbits around the edges, but not the main thing that’s bothering you. You feel antsy and can’t get comfortable. Joy and good feelings are fleeting. There’s a part of you that wonders if things will ever feel better, maybe that you are defective.
Most people, guys in particular, have a hard time allowing others in and being vulnerable. It’s fine for people to have secret parts that nobody knows about, but not if the secret disrupts your life. Beginning therapy can be a process whereby you start letting people in and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. That’s why beginning therapy is such a big deal.
Typically, there are bothersome things on your mind which won’t go away. You try reaching out to friends and family to help sort out your feelings. Sometimes that’s all you need, and you feel better getting that load off your chest. You’re getting back to your old self. You have a few good night’s sleep. You feel hungry again, for the first time in a while. You’re hanging out with friends and family and enjoying having fun again.
However, if your moods come and go, you seem to have lost your rhythm, and the funk returns, then you might consider what I call The 6-Week Rule. That is, try shaking things up, sharing with friends and family, getting a check-up with your family physician, and see how your days go. If your funk continues for more than 6 weeks, then think about beginning therapy.
Because this is (you are) a big deal, do your research to find your therapist. Research indicates that 75% of effective healing therapy comes from the doctor-patient relationship, while only 25% comes from your therapist’s bag of tricks. Get recommendations from your physician, and from friends and coworkers. Even go to the length of interviewing prospective therapists for one session each before committing to the process.
If you are in an emergency situation or feel suicidal, call the suicide hotline at #811, tell loved ones, and find a therapist quickly. Sudden, unexpected events like an unexpected loss or a traumatic attack or incident require mental health triage. Under these circumstances, the 6-week rule does not apply
I had a patient back in the day who had been in therapy back in Florida before his company moved him to Virginia. His appointment with me was on a Thursday and he told me I was his fourth therapist appointment that week. He had been in therapy for a year back in Florida and he wanted things “to click” again, since he had moved. After his appointment with me I didn’t see him for two months. He then came back in and started the session with, “Oops, I chose the wrong one.” I saw him weekly for 6 months with symptom relief and a smooth transition to his changing circumstances.
In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I make use of extensive counselor-client dialogue to give readers a sneak peek into just how effective therapy is done. I offer the four stages of therapy and share a new treatment strategy, Mentalligent Psychotherapy. Check out my new book on my website, www.authorjonrobinson.com, and buy your copy on www.amazonbooks.com.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon